No one will read this post. I’m not an opinion leader. Well, not one that many people make a point to read. But I do have opinions and they are STRONG & DIFFICULT.
Since the, formerly called by myself, Go-Me-She “scandal” broke out, it isn’t so much a scandal to me anymore; it has become about such larger issues to address in the face of our current societal framework that I am filled with anxiety. I am actually fiercely scrambling up and down the streets with bi-polar passion and excitement, which seems twisted to me. I suppose finally, finally a woman with my history of VAW – Violence Against Women – has its ‘MEDIA’ due. Has its cut into a chaos rampantly silenced in this ‘scene’ of C-list Artsy Stars in Canada.
In my experience I have found Women artists, in the face of abuse to be increasingly silent and docile. More unintentionally docile and fearful than women in other professions. Women carrying desires and striving for recognition in so profound a need to make something of themselves according to the manner in which our system is run. Forget true creativity. I need to fit in and get popular or else I won’t be anyone, I can’t make any money. How will I survive? A duality of profound insecurity and ego. Myself as I/subject first.
I can’t speak for LGBT because I am not any of those, though I know it is also an ongoing controversy there too among Trans-Women, Lesbians, Gay and Bi-Sexual folks; the once ‘freaks’ of society living on the fringes, usually in Urban densely populated areas–arty types, media savvy sorts, musicians, theatre artists, actors, visual-digital artists, poets, writers, painters–those of us who spend the majority of our lives sacrificing everything in the face of our dreams to express ourselves. Aforementioned, WOMEN who live this way are often subject to poverty, violence, misunderstanding and skewed messaging about boundaries during foreplay when it comes to getting involved in attraction that leads to sexual encounters (let’s call it that) or flirtation or dating etc.
It is these women who are MOST LIKELY to be silent when abused; and they are abused often! I have seen it. I have witnessed it. I have known it. And it is most likely this environment where people guess and people quietly know but nothing is said. It is a highly gregarious world and a Canadian community so small it borders on incestuousness. It is a world of ego driven people at the expense of the women themselves and everyone wants an in. The majority of the financial players in powerful positions are men–history shows us this and how much has this changed? Women shame themselves in order to survive. In oppressive situations. Is this wrong? No. Of course not. It is what we are conditioned to do. WOMEN are conditioned to do so that they may be accepted. Nothing is more frightening than going to an artsy party or a media party and no one wants to talk to you. No one cares unless you have SOMETHING to offer and that is where the blackjack wins!
If you want to make a difference as a WOMAN artist, as someone who lives for *fringe* or on the edge, fight for your rights to the expense of it all. Live the passion toward change. Be fearless. Refuse acceptance. Say the shit no one wants to hear out loud. Make harsh judgements on Sexist Men. Make a fool of yourself. Put yourself in the hot seat. Press charges! Say Your Name! In the end, they may not want to party with you (as I have found) but they’ll silently respect you.
Tell them to FUCK OFF. Tell the world to FUCK OFF. Tell the BIG BOSS to FUCK OFF. Even if you don’t win–the next ones will and YOU have been there as part of the process to make it so. You won’t be liked. You won’t be a cheerleader. But, you’ll be the most co-creative one around. To be torn apart. To be torn down is as creative as it gets because if you survive that then WOMEN will know how to create everything with all they’ve got. How to create life. How to create art. How to create their souls. How to create from bottom up. And when they abuse you, you’ll know that you must–
Say something. No proof. No support. No voice. Do something.